Do You Have Self-Doubt?
Everyone has experienced self-doubt in their life. This might show up as allowing negative beliefs of the self to get in the way of our goals. It can be debilitating and make you feel ‘stuck’ in life. Life’s conditioning (including childhood experience and schooling) establishes our foundational ‘self-concept’ and how we see ourselves.
Road Blocks Are Common
For many of us, when we set a big goal, roadblocks appear. This might show up as inner-dialogue like ‘You are not good enough to do that’, ‘Who are you to think you can do that.’ Then we exhibit all sorts of procrastination behaviours that are actually rooted in self-doubt. So, what are the hidden behaviours of self-doubt?
1) Over Qualifying Yourself And Needing Everything To Be Perfect
This might show up as doing a zillion courses but never putting your qualifications into practice. Or wanting to start a business but ‘waiting’ before really starting, ensuring ‘every duck is lined up’; to the point of paralysis. They say to themselves, ‘Once everything is done, then I will do it’. However, they actually don’t start. They might take action in regards to back-end tasks such as – building a beautiful website, creating a branding strategy or importing a product. However, no one gets to see it.
Are You Avoiding Vulnerable Action?
I am not saying this organisation is not critical. However, it can be used as a protection mechanism. Essentially, an excuse to take vulnerable action. Sometimes we just have to just start and see what happens. This is risky though as we might face judgment and failure (this is what I help people work through as a personal coach and life coach).
Ultimately, my point is that we don’t necessarily need to do everything perfect from the get-go. Because oftentimes in business things are fluid and fluctuating and you need to actually start to find out what even works. I believe that there is something to be said for diving in, and figuring it out as you go.
2) Stuck In ‘Busy-ness’ To Create Distraction (Caused By Self-Doubt)
This person is always in the emotional state of ‘busyness’. So when you ask them what they are busy doing – they have a huge list of things. Mainly though, the tasks are menial and take them away from their own higher mission and goals. A person without this form of self-doubt would say ‘No, I can’t help you, I am busy’, or ‘ No, that task is not my priority right now’. They have discipline and strong boundaries.
3) Freeze (You Don’t Do Anything)
Freezing is caused by an inner conflict in the nervous system. Let’s say you want to run a marathon. One part of you feels deeply called to do this. However, there is another part of you that is terrified of failing. This scared inner-child part of us wants to stay safe and ensure certainty. Often, when these two aspects of self meet – they create a powerful freeze response. We become completely paralyzed.
How To Overcome Self Doubt?
1) Become Conscious Of Your Environment To Clear Self-Doubt
Your environment and the people you surround yourself with is critical. Find a group of people who have achieved what you want. Get involved and begin networking. If you get in the room and connect with people who don’t have self-doubt (who have been on the journey), then that environment actually changes the neural pathways in your brain. Your beliefs will actually change and self-doubt will vanish. You will move forward and re-wire a new blueprint of what is possible.
2) Engage In Personal Development
Listen to podcasts, read personal development books or get a mindset and life coach. There are many free resources out there. Suddenly things will happen as you shift these internal beliefs. Self-doubt will shift. This process will start to blow up your glass ceiling of what is possible. Because the ceiling was never there – it was just our perception.
3) Purpose Exercise
Finally, get a piece of paper and write a line down the middle. On the right-hand side, write down the superman or superwomen version of your goals. Write down the purpose of taking the next step of that goal. For example: ‘To get healthier’. Then write down the purpose of getting healthier. This might be to have more energy. What is the purpose of getting more energy? Write your answer. Keep going and going until you can’t answer the question anymore. This process is finding your underlying deeper purpose.
On the left-hand side, write down the inner child version of you. The scared part of you. The part of you that is not wanting to take action. Give that part of you a name or voice. Write down the purpose of holding yourself back? Maybe it’s ‘So I don’t have to fail’. What is the purpose of not failing? ‘Avoid embarrassment and shame’. What is the purpose to avoid this? ‘To maintain connection’. Keep going until you find the underlying deeper purpose of this inner-child version of you.
You Can Clear Self-Doubt
Finally, let me know how you go because sometimes in this process, both aspects of ourselves want the same thing. Both have the same purpose. So by doing this, you are able to see and feel clearly the integration within your higher self or inner child. I hope these strategies help you understand your self-doubt more and how to move forward. Reach out if you have any questions or book a strategy session with me here. Cameron